Paella is for lovers?

There's a scene in Sex and Lucia where Lucia, who has just fled the scene of her boyfriend's apparent suicide, walks into a beachside cafe and orders paella. The waitress tells her that the restaurant only serves paella for two, sorry, so she'll have to order something else. Lucia bursts into tears, the waitress wonders whether now is the right time to tell her the specials du jour, and then Lucia does everyone a favor by running out of the restaurant, down the beach, and into the next scene of the movie. Paella, apparently, is only for lovers.

I have a lover, but he only eats nachos. Last Tuesday night while he was swizzling beer and crunching on his favorite "meal," I dragged out the 5-quart crock pot I got for Christmas and filled it with a Better Homes and Gardens paella recipe. This serves 6, so even if you're eating alone, you'll have enough to feed all your absent lovers for the rest of the week.


Chicken and Sausage Paella

3 lbs. meaty chicken pieces, skinned
8 oz. cooked smoked turkey sausage, halved lengthwise and sliced
1 large onion, sliced
3 cloves garlic, minced
2 tsp dried thyme
1/4 tsp black pepper
1/4 turmeric (cheaper than 1/8 tsp. saffron, which you can use instead if you've got the cash)
1 14-oz. can reduced-sodium chicken broth
1/2 cup water
2 cups chopped tomatoes
2 medium yellow or green sweet peppers, cut into thin, bite-sized strips
1 cup frozen peas
3 cups hot cooked rice or one 5-oz. package saffron-flavored yellow rice mix, cooked according to directions

1. In a large skillet brown chicken pieces, half at a time, in hot oil. Drain off fat. Place chix pieces, turkey sausage, and onion in the crock pot. Sprinkle with garlic, dried thyme, black pepper, and turmeric/saffron. Pour broth and water over all.

2. Cover and cook on low-heat setting for 7 to 8 hours. Add the tomatoes, sweet peppers, and peas to the cooker. Cover and let stand for 5 minutes. Serve over rice.



Though my paella looked just like the picture, it tasted like a watered down version of the paella I ate while visiting Spain a few years ago (alone, I might add). Just guessing, but maybe it was the water? The recipe calls for 18 oz. of liquid, most of which was left at the bottom of the pot after cooking. Better Homes and Gardens offered no direction in this matter, so I drained the excess off. More liquid appeared. I drained that off. The next day, more appeared. Conclusion? This is one soggy, sorry dish, and about as romantic as a sweaty palm.

The good news is that it includes all the four food groups, so I staved off anemia for one more week. The bad news is that this quick and easy crock pot recipe took 2 hours to slice, dice, brown, pour, and clean up. Not to mention the left-brain aerobics of forcing myself to wake up early and throw all this together before going to work. I thought crock pots were supposed to take the time out of timed cooking!

Not bad for my first crock attempt. Nothing burned, and my apartment smelled fantastic for two days. But will I ever lure my lover to the dinner table? Is Garlic Chicken with Artichokes for lovers? How many chickens can I eat before I break through my post-vegetarian guilt and cook a pork roast? Ladies and gentlemen, I wonder and wait.